12:46 AM
I never will leave You ~
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Sunday, April 05, 2009
Many are invited but only few are chosen
I dun have any fresh nights to post.Only at night will my 'Spiritual Man' be awaken. Those who know me well, should know that I will 'zi-high' when the clock strikes 6pm and above. So usually at night will I be very effective,productive and open. Reason why Im unable to blog what God has shared to me is because friday I bookin, too tired.Saturday is service day, tired. Sunday, is book in day, bo pian. But I know, these are excuses but are facts.
Basically after I POP, Ill be sharing about 'Influence','Holy Fear','You are Chosen' and the 'secretive post' :P. For now will be just sharing of life
I really wanna thank God for my Law exam in Police. In my squad of 40, only 2 passed. Im one of the 2. And also, ever since I mentioned and shared about how Christ changed my life, they have been keeping an eye on me, hoping to find faults or any small sin.And many times they are very unreasonable.Even if I help people, they even questioned me why I so kepo. But I know, many of us who are being 'watched', are going through this as well. But the important thing is you know your identity in Christ. You live for the audience of One.So whatever you do,you must want 2 win/gain Christ's approval not man.
I'm getting frustrated at two things.First, I really know I CANT sing.Second, is I CANT hear the chords being played in songs.Even people who know they are not really good singers, still can sing in tune. I CANT! I think my voice is worst than a frog. Maybe a really beautiful princess who is able to sing must kiss me then maybe I can sing better. I was digging my root issue of maybe why Im not able 2 atleast hear or sing in tune.The only two reason I can think of is, one, I was not influence by Music in anyway since I was young. I only knew that music was music to my ears when I was in secondary one.Second, God created me this way( *why God* ). Hmm,ever heard that God will select the One to compliment your weaknessess.Maybe, the reason why I cant really sing is for God to bring a singer to me * laughs* ohhhhhhhhhhh Im just kidding ok? lol
I've learned how 2 play 'Desert Song' and Amazing Grace(my chains are gone) already.I improved my guitar fingering techniques.Now my hand very 'suan suan' :P
Im really sorry that Im unable to attend our West 2nd anniversary.I had Kingdom Matters to carry out and I was unable 2 compromise it 2 join you guys.Nxt week ill be booking out thursday afternoon.Ill be booking in one wednesday night. So Im free from thursday
afternoon,friday,sunday,monday and tuesday. book me if u want and ill check with u again :P
NS have been quite spiritual. David Hoe,Joyce and I were having prayer meets at 945pm. so cool!
Its been awhile since I did this with God.I was praying for certain people in my life and I asked God how were they doing? God showed me what and how they were doing. I was in great sadness to hear/see how certain people are doing,including myself. Last friday night, God mourned with me for His children. I really really wish to help you but I cant if you dont allow me to invade your personal,private and your life.Once I enter,I wont leave!I really wish to lavish God's love upon you. I really want 2 bring you closer to me so that I can bring you closer to God. My heart is for others.God's friendship was opened to you yet u cant fully comprehend it due to ur lack of faith and trust.Sin is fogging your mind and heart that you do not see what you are doing and where are you going. I cant promise my 24/7 presence with you but I can promise my best efforts :P . Dont lose hope! God is/was and will be always with you. But God can only enter if you allow Him. Do you want me to enter as well ? :P ( stop looking around.Im refering to everyone)
5:30 PM
I never will leave You ~
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Sunday, March 29, 2009
Told me everything I ever did
I dunno what I wanna talk about as I only will have the inspiration blogging at night.If you noticed, every since I entered NS,my entries arent much inspiring as it was before.Okay, I really promise to post if someone bugs me ... just kidding . Maybe after POP OH!
After service,Pastor Jeff called forth the ULs to pray for the body of Christ. I did not wanted 2 waste this opportunity to be prayed for face to face. Its been awhile. So I was asking God what I needed to be prayed for. After through, I went to the alter to be prayed for. I purposely chose someone I did not know at all. And I told him a summarised prayer need. And he told me more than I ask for, infact, he told me a answer that Im been looking for 14years. I was completely stunned. After returning to my seat, I could not hold all the magnifestation of God's Glory over me.I held my head with a great sense of relief that God was so real and he still gave a second chance.
Just a brief sharing. I did the love language test again( I dunno why) . And my love language was time and attention. Thats is why God is so dear to my heart as I spend my time and attention in Him. It mentioned that how I show love is vice versa. I put in my time and attention as well. Dont you agree? So you can be loved by me if u do the same to me! *laughs*:D
My guitar skill and my aural skill has went up a level! Im able 2 hear better and I led Praise cum worship in Caregroup today. woo! I will be buying a keyboard after I POP.Im upgrading myself. I'm learning how 2 use photoshop editing.I think ill be investing in a digital camera in the later years.Im reading chim chim books to improve my english.Planning to buy a car as well. Maybe after my NS,work part time and buy a car via installment.I should get a license too ...
Im able to do 24 pull ups. Ill be entering the 42km marathon at the end of the year.So ill be doing my runs after POP. So if u want 2 stay healthy and fit, let me know. We can run together.
Man.I gained two kg in total and my body fats is 12.2kg! incease by 3! my weight btw is 61kg after eating tiny bit and a subway cookie.Just checked again and its 58kg(original) .Ill be running in camp to reduce my overall body fats and BMI. maybe shall go for 55kg. My goal after I ORD(NS finished), I must be able to do 30-40 pull-ups and run 2.4km in between 8:00 - 8:30 minutes. My last timing is 9:27minutes :P
3:30 PM
I never will leave You ~
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Sunday, March 15, 2009
Fear
will edit this entry nxt week!
till den sms or call ! :P
My new favourite worship song is ... currently being played! 'One desire' has dropped to my 2nd *oh so sad* but both songs expresses my inner most desires :P I even learnt the song.
Songs learnt or learning during these few weeks(including the lead or/and rhythm parts)
One thing
Hosanna
Second chance
The stand
At the cross
Im yours(jason marz)
Umbrella(rihanna)
Nxt week i think ill be learning 'Amazing grace(my chains are gone) - chris tomlin :P
I wont be able 2 come for our 2nd anniversary. sad.
any1 got mp3 2 lend me temperory? :D
*bumped*
zzz no time no time to learn any songs lor :( ...
no time 2 learn new english words :( ...
so many good things that the Lord had taught me that I wish 2 post/share about it.but I promise 2 blog more often after POP(may7) yea?
for sharing wise , i can always call u inbetween 7pm to 10pm. sms me if wanna be called :P
*byes!*
u said invest in me. but u didnt invested in me. ur a liar! :( but its okay. i still got God.
5:57 PM
I never will leave You ~
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Sunday, March 01, 2009
unattached/detached
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Many of us will conclude all happenings as this ' everything that has happened is God's plan'I beg to differ. As for me, I would say 'everything that had happened was allowed with a reason' theres a difference between God's Will and Plan. im lazy 2 explain . hahaha.ok.... basically im tired in investing in all friendship. I never went far. its like a glass-celling always. I give up haha. i know there are so many good and nice people out there but i think i never want 2 go far from just normal friends.nth seems 2 work the way i thought it would be.only left is Jesus . haiz............... shall revert to my old self. it feels much less painful :P i can only choose 2 be very hard or soft.either extremes
7:13 PM
I never will leave You ~
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Sunday, February 22, 2009
I dont know what to do
yay! just finished watching 放羊的星星. Next will be 禁不禁 . ( super weird lol) I was bored haha.
I was doing alot of reflecting in my life.I still really dunno where I am heading and am really really insecure about it. I think the song 'One Way' comes to life. Abram( which is also known as abraham after his obedience towards God) obeyed God and went into the wilderness though he didnt noe nuts about everything or anything.I want to live a daily lifestyle like that.
There was certain things I did during service.As the first worship song was in mandrain, I took the time to account to God about my life. I did the normal 'routine' everytime i approached God.1)thanksgiving for the past,present and the future2)Forgiveness of my sins and the World.3)God's character;slow to anger,abounding in love4)Needs5)People I want to pray for6)trusting God for the future
As I was accounting my life to God, I ..... had a great sense of unworthyness. When I compared myself to God's holyness and my sinfulness, I was ashamed before God.I guess Satan was condemning me. I just didnt wanted 2 go near God. Why? Because Im afraid to hurt God again with my sins. Though the sins I did was considerable small.Like, my friends in NS will irritate me then Ill irritate them back to show them how it felt.Showing face when they irritate me.It was hurt,showing out in anger. But, sin, small or big, is VERY destestable in God's eye. You drink a cup of poison , you die.Even if you drink a cup of water with one drop of poison, you still die.That poison is Sin in our lifes. It kills us.
So I spiritually took a step back before God and told God that I didnt wanted 2 hurt Him anymore.But what did God did? He walk towards me and embraced me spiritually and said " I will be more hurt if you go further away from me" ........
All I could say to God at the moment was ," I hate you God. I hate you for ur faithfulness.I hate you for your grace. I hate you for accepting me no matter what I did.I hate you for sending your son for a person like me.Lastly,I hate you for your abundant love.I never deserved it but you still gave and did all those things for me.I have to say , I really really really love you." I cried abit, holding my pride and 'face'.Then, I just had to worship God with all my heart. Such amazing Love
Yesterday service was a marvelous one. Indeed, Pastor Jeff's life convincted me but at the same time,it made me doubt of what God really wants to do. I had many dreams that I wanted to do for God but I was thinking twice whether is it really God's perfect plan for me. I shall not elaborate.I wanna soak myself in God's presence and submerged myself in His Word to find that answer if possible.
I was doing alot of reflecting in my life.I still really dunno where I am heading and am really really insecure about it. I think the song 'One Way' comes to life. Abram( which is also known as abraham after his obedience towards God) obeyed God and went into the wilderness though he didnt noe nuts about everything or anything.I want to live a daily lifestyle like that.I seriously dunno where Im heading to. Im like a wanderer waiting something 2 appear right in my face.Thats my condition as for now.
I guess,I was maybe somehow influenced by David Hoe. Or is it concidence that I have been thinking and saying the things that already happened in his life? dunno! my post always very messsssssy !
memories brings joy to my heart. thx
actually, the truth is there is alot of people in my life that I want to thank God for.But I did not take take photos with them.But you should know it. If u dun,can ask me.
ps:sorri if i reduced your market value *laughs* :P
Just let me know when u need me:D
Labels:Joke
A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.
They boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.
The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?” The clergyman wanted the younger boy to know that God's presence was everywhere and He is watching.
They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?" The youngest brother gasped for breath and replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time dude. God is missing and they think WE did it!"
Im too sensitivity! but oh well. im over it... for now.
so many locked emotions.
I cared so so much.I wish for a serious verbal commitment in friendship and familyship.
stop sinning to yourself or that sin will take over u
1:21 PM
I never will leave You ~
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